61
We just finished our first co-write and I am kind of floored by the way we were both able to offer suggestions, hear each other out, and say, you’re right, from time to time. Don’t get used to hearing me say that, though. It won’t happen often 😉
59
I know we’re joking a lot about Momo Driver Maloney but I really do hope I’m pregnant because:
1. I’m ready to move into my pregnant fashion era. Like, I’m already shopping for elastic waistband joggers online.
2. Pregnant porn start titties are great for business.
3. We kind of have to have a kid. We have four pets between the two of us and I feel like we’re starting to move into “crazy cat people” territory – not that that’s a bad thing; don’t cancel me, people of the internet.
3. I need an excuse to knit lots of cute, tiny things.
4. I really feel like what’s missing in my grad program is a baby. Babies make everything better.
5. Our holiday photos would be unhinged.
6. Porn star titties.
7. Tiny clothes.
8. Momo.
57
I may have given you shit about your stovetop because I secretly hoped you would be the diligent researcher that you are, buy the appropriate stuff, and then let me borrow it after. Plus, I knew you would get a kick at beating me in something … anything … even if it is just stovetop cleanliness. Love you, byeeeeeee!
55
I loved you a lot already, but then I met your drooling, snub-tailed cat and your oversized, midnight-snacking dog-cat, and saw how much you loved them yet how little you seemed to know about how or when or where to feed them and noticed cat food overflowing onto the floor from bowls positioned on pretty much every surface in the room – including the coffee table, and your desk, and the bathroom countertop, and the cutting board on the kitchen island – and fell even more in love as I thought to myself, “He’s definitely going to have to marry me now because spouses don’t have to testify against each other and he’s gonna need me to take this shit to my grave,” and, well, there’s just nothing more sexy to a girl than job security.
53
We haven’t oathed about the election yet. It’s been about a week and, while we’ve talked about it, we haven’t (unless you have oathed about it behind my back and I didn’t know it) oathed about it. I’m scared. Yes, abortion is legal in Oregon right now, but what about in a year? I think the only solution is to get pregnant immediately so I can get the care I need if anything goes wrong. We should also have several babies because libs aren’t producing right now and the conservative population is exponentially growing. At this rate, our party is going to disappear faster than the Boomers’ social security benefits. It’s up to us.
51
It’s so refreshing being in a relationship with someone who is super into my opinions and ideas and not just because they are dumb or don’t have any of their own. And even more refreshing that you both like my ideas and have a healthy enough ego to not feel threatened by expressing validation for my ideas. And even MORE refreshing that you are also brilliant and funny and I don’t ever have to fake with you.
49
This is the first time we’ve been apart for more than a day at a time since we started dating two months ago and while, yes, absence makes the heart grow fonder and blah blah blah, I would much rather you be in bed next to me right now with my right hand casually gripping your cock, my left hand holding a cup of coffee, and cum dripping steadily from my pussy. Cum home, plz.
47
There’s nothing more surreal than sitting in bed with your boyfriend of two months while you’re ovulating, planning a trip to Spain, and cum is dripping out of your pussy. We’re being totally reckless and yet I’ve never felt more safe.
45
When I used to think of the future, I’d see myself. Now, I see you there, too, and I don’t want to go back.
43
The fact that you actually seem interested in my half-asleep recounting of dreams about black oceans, frozen water, talking to hawks, and waving from the roofs of sinking houses, makes me want to give you ten babies.