We’ve been engaged for a whole three weeks and it still feels like a fucking dream. I mean, seriously, I have managed to slip through the fingers of many eligible bachelors and bachelorettes over the course of my 37 years on this planet and somehow, here we are. There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.
You are at your peak fertility. I’ve already cum inside of you twice today. We are working on projects together in bed, getting shit done, while my sperm is trying to find its way into your egg. Discussion of a third fuck is in the air.
In between episodes of Chimp Crazy, you roll onto me and fill me with more of your cum. Even though I think it’s despicable to try to domesticate wild chimps, I feel like I could very well become one of these people if I don’t get knocked up soon. Mama need a baby.
Something I’ve told you, but haven’t said enough: “You’re really good at designing stuff on Canva.” No seriously. It’s kind of freaky how good you are at it. Like, I’m impressed, but also concerned you sold your soul to the devil for mad Canva skills.
I have a problem with trolling trolls. You know this. I just can’t keep myself from leaving comments like, “Aren’t you ashamed of yourself?” on posts trolls publish of themselves making fun of other people’s appearances. But I don’t stop there. I’ve started leaving comments on ads. Warning Prose followers to set calendar reminders about their discount subscription schedule since the app won’t. I think this is a problem. And I understand if it’s a dealbreaker. But I hope you can accept this as one of my charming quirks rather than seeing it as a very red flag.
Another way we are completely insane. We got the idea to do a reading/performance around Valentines Day and you said, “Llet’s secure the venue and reach out to the readers,” and like an hour later, we’d somehow we accidentally built a website and launched a reading series and decided it’s also a literary magazine, and now we are doing this huge fucking thing and everything looks really fucking good, and I’m excited and incredibly proud. Anything we do together is 100% magic.