For real though… I’m totally, completely, madly, batshit crazy in love with you [heart eyes emoji][upside down face emoji][lying on the floor incapacitated by how much you’ve made my heart like a giant red balloon engorged with blood and feelings emoji].
I feel like I could survive anything with you.
Saw Adam Driver in a play, then went back to our hotel and broke another seal. The big one. Now we have a new joke: pointing at your belly and calling what might be inside Momo. As in “Momo will be a genius. She’ll have great hair. One day we’ll tell her about the night we saw Adam Driver.” We keep telling the joke and laughing, but maybe it isn’t totally a joke and maybe we don’t entirely want it to be.
If we had to jump from a sinking ship in hypothermic waters and only had a fairly large wooden slab to cling to, I would definitely make room for you.
Last night you cooked me a steak dinner, then fucked me better than I’ve ever been fucked. This morning, you said I looked like Poseidon. I’m not saying you’re a benevolent witch slowly transforming me into a Norse god, but I’m not not saying it either.
Remember when we both wanted to say, “I love you,” but instead said, “I really … what’s that word again? I think there’s a word for the thing we’re feeling. It’s not “like” but we couldn’t possibly say, you know … what could it be? That was fun but also a lot of words to say.
On our second date, you asked me if I had any kinks. I said I didn’t think so, but I wasn’t sure. A month later, I’ve got a full-blown Daddy complex with a rapidly developing breeding fantasy.
Most of my relationships have made my life feel smaller.
In this one, it feels expansive.
I asked, “Do you want to get married someday?”
You thought I said “Sunday.”
We saw a coyote, then a deer. Pretty sure you’re my wife now.
Pro’s
Has the best laugh, hair, and style in the room
Is one of the kindest and most genuine people I have ever met
Has the best worn t-shirts for me to wear to bed
Is a really fucking good writer – what a turn-on
Is willing to put in the work without acting like I’m work
Gives generously
Supports me and my work
Thinks I’m smart and hot
Has an amazing cock – like, damn
Has pets – that’s always a good sign
Gives off major “Daddy” energy
Picks up the tab – sorry, but I like to get treated
Is artistic and likes doing art things with me
Likes my cooking
Has never gaslit me
Clearly has my back
Loves my ass – that’s a non-negotiable
Has chest hair – another non-negotiable
Loves the same music as me
Is nice to his mom
Lets me read aloud to him in the car
Con’s
Feeds his cats wet stinky food
Falls asleep during movies
Wants to fuck every day (just kidding, that’s a pro)
Takes forever to make coffee
Is an “over the roll” T.P. guy
Hasn’t done cocaine